What a wonderful responsibility we take on when we bring a pet into our lives. With the help and guidance from veterinarians, we provide a loving, safe and healthy environment for our pets that share everything with us. They are the best "pals" we have for accepting us as we are.
Pets also bring us through the losses in our lives. For many of us, our companions are the anchors. We lose a job, we change residences, and we lose friends and relatives through death and separation. The constant is the unwavering love and devotion of a companion animal. One day, that constant will become one of our losses. Now we will grieve because we have lost that companion.
Where do we turn?
When the kind face and acceptance we used to turn to is gone, where do we go for comfort? In a joint presentation of Hospice of Havasu and the Western Arizona Humane Society will offer Pet Grief Support Group, Thursday, October 21 at 7:00 pm at Hospice of Havasu, 2277 Swanson Ave.
The Pet Grief Support Group will deal with all aspects of pet loss from euthanasia to the grief process.
The Grief Process:
One of the most difficult and important parts of grief and loss is seeking to understand what has happened and that what you are feeling is all right. Your sense of loss may encompass your life and that is all right. You have the right to grieve and you can take as much time as you need. In a busy and demanding world like ours, the trick is to take time.
How can I face the loss?
After your pet has died it is natural and normal to feel grief and sorrow. The grieving process includes the reality of your loss, accepting that the loss and accompanying feelings are painful, and adjusting to your new life that no longer includes your pet.
No one is able to tell you your time frame for grieving. Only someone who has worked through grief can tell you about the time it takes to heal. There are many signs of grief, but not everyone experiences them all, or in the same order. Generally, the stages are:
Anger
Bargaining
Depression
Acceptance/resolution/recovery
Although the signs of grief apply whether the loss is of a loving pet or a human loved one, grieving is a personal process. Some people tale longer than others to come to terms with denial, anger, guilt or depressions. If you understand that these are normal reactions, you will be better prepared to cope with you own feelings.
How to I respond to my friends that say "It's only a pet?"
Often, well-meaning family and friends may not realize how important your pet was to you or the intensity of your grief. Being honest with yourself and others about how you feel is best. Be gentle with yourself. Many of us do not go through all stages and almost all of us will be thrown back into and out if these stages before the healing truly begins. With resolution comes perhaps not so much the "getting on with it" as it does the chance to place the memories in a comfortable spot in your life. If despair mounts, talk to someone who will listen about your pet and the illness and death.
How can I forget?
If you or a family member has great difficulty in accepting your pet's death and cannot resolve feelings of grief and sorrow, you may want to discuss those feelings with a person who is trained to understand the grieving process such as a grief group, counselor, clergyman, physician, psychologist. Your veterinarian certainly understands the loving relationship you have lost and may be able to direct you to community resources. Talking about your loss will often help.
Should I get another pet?
The death of a pet can upset you emotionally, especially when euthanasia is involved. Some people may feel they would never want another pet. A new pet may help others get over the loss more quickly. Just as grief is a personal experience, the decision of when, if ever, to bring a new pet into your home is also a personal one. If a family member is having difficulty accepting the pet's death, bringing a new pet into the home before that individual has resolved his or her grief that is still being felt. Family members should come to an agreement on the appropriate time to acquire a new pet. Although you can never replace the pet you lost you can get another one to share your life.
Remembering your pet.
The act of saying goodbye is an important step in managing the natural and healthy feelings of grief, sorrow, and sense of loss. Your pet is an important part of your life and it is natural to feel you are losing a friend….you are. The period from birth to old age is much more brief in pets than in people. Death is a part of the life cycle for all creatures. It cannot be avoided, but its impact can be met with understanding and compassion.
Try to recall the good times you spent with your pet. By remembering the pleasure of those times, you can realize your pet was worthy of your grief. You may also wish to establish a memorial of some type in honor of your pet.
The dedicated staff and volunteers of the Western Arizona Humane Society are at your service to answer any questions, or help with the placement of a companion animal.
We invite you to visit our facilities and see our staff and volunteers at work at 1100 Empire Dr., 855-5083, or we will be happy to schedule a presentation of the many functions of the Western Arizona Humane Society to your club, group or classroom. Also, watch our Adopt-a-Pet program on TV-45.
Valley Fever
Dog Bite Prevention
Spay & Neuter
Adopt a Cat
Pet Information On-Line
Cat Myths
Heat
Fireworks
Cat Scratching
Heartworm
THE MANY BENEFITS OF COMPANION ANIMALS
W.A.H.S & Lake Havasu City