The panic and fear of the new territory is very real in facing unfamiliar places, such as a new town or hotel or even a public restroom. It can disable you from living in the here and now. When facing a new challenge we need to be realistic and not let the “what ifs” march through our minds or they will take over. Stop that. Realistically, look over the new environment and allow yourself to take stock. Is it a danger here to me or is it not? It is good to be cautious because if you need medical attention, do what you have to do to receive that. Evaluate the circumstances without the fear. Learn to know what those things are, that will put you back in control, in a state of mending. Allow yourself to know that this time of danger and panic will pass as well as the present trauma you may be experiencing. Learn to know your body. Do not give the fear power. Use the tools such as your medications, or staying close to a window. Send someone in to take stock for you, perhaps to see if there is new paint or perfume. We do not have to be ashamed of the problem, but proud of our courage, as we are taking in taking the quality of life that we can squeeze or pour into our lives, on any given day. Every bit of that quality is valuable. Don’t imagine the worst, plan on the best scenario. There probably will be times you encounter a negative invader. Deal with it, know it will pass and again, pat yourself on the back for courage and go on. You will find places that are “safe” for you. You will relish those places.
Once, I had to travel through several states for a medical treatment. I made many calls to find a hotel without new paint or harsh chemicals, or new carpet, and that had not sprayed pesticides. I thought I had it all under control. I got there and felt accomplished that I had made it. I got into the room and could not breathe. It had a heavy stench of pesticides. The manager said it had been sprayed and he was sorry. I took my medication and went searching for another. I ended up sleeping in the car, while my husband slept in a room. (He had just had back surgery).
I had to go back to this city again a month later, and fears overwhelmed me. Again, I made my calls and prayed for the best. I had to fight not to panic as I arrived at the hotel, and not view this in relation to the past experience, as fear would tell me to do, and not plan on the worst. I’ve heard it said, that “FEAR” is F-alse E-evidence A-ppearing R-eal. It was false evidence that I was going to have a repeat of the last time I had traveled. Reality had yet to be seen. I had to take courage. It was a new day. I was going to expect the best. I went in and evaluated, without the fear. Yes, I felt fear but I did not let it have control. Fear will magnify a problem and will even make one, where often it may be safe. We are too panicked to see reality or the possibility of it being o.k.
I sat on the bed and took some deep breaths. My lungs were not twitching, or closing up. After about ten minutes, I was still breathing o.k. I had my own bedding and pillow and I allowed myself to lay down and relished that I had finally made it. In my journey, I learned many rest stops were heavily disinfected. That was a problem to me and I had to call my doctor, who was several states away for advice. I medicated and did what I needed to do. I found fast food places that were safer for me. The trauma passed in several days and I became empowered to know that.
It is a journey and you will find what works for you. Consult your health care provider for advice in your travels, what is best for you, may not be for someone else. We must be willing to confront our fears. It comes at us aggressively and we must take action against it. We do not pretend it is not there. Be realistic. Take courage and relish life!
August 2001