My first meeting with Bhima Solberg began with an exposure. One afternoon, I saw a big man wearing a plaid cotton flannel shirt under blue jean overalls, cutting down the dead eucalyptus tree about 50 feet from my trailer (on mt. top of San Diego). While listening to the drone of the gasoline powered chain saw, I began to "sputter" and quickly escasped the gasoline fumes. That night, while eating dinner at the community dining hall, it did not take me long to realize that I was sitting near Bhima and surrounded by a cloud of gasoline fumes. Again, I left dinner quickly. Thank goodness the sauna detoxification program had increased my tolerance to handle these exposures without being set back for days, or never being able to enter that building again.
At another dinner, I was able to talk to him and found out that he was founder of Christ Heart Outreach Employment Services (CHORES) and chaired a committee for the Self-Esteem Task Force. I was impressed by his humanitarian efforts to complete a study of self esteem and correlate its effect on recidivism for men and youth in incarceration and probation.
I did not see him again until two years later, when he moved from Northern California to the San Diego community where I lived, in search of a computer repairman technician's job. When I saw his Ford truck parked outside the office and his big black dog, I shuddered at the thought of sharing living space in the community with him. He was definitely on of those "man's man" type of guys, who chewed tobacco, and felt at home with dirt, grease and grime. I would definitely be keeping my distance from him!
One afternoon, two months later when we were talking about places where we had lived, I noticed the first sparks were ignited. When I mentioned that I had lived on porches and under trees for a couple of years, he responded enthusiastically with a gleam in his eye, and said, "I have lived under bridges!" We had a lot in common. He was recovering from a wrist injury and was partially disabled, we were both poor, struggling to survive in our own way, and had a love for God. It is primarily because of our love for God, that I believe we are still together. When we compared notes, we found that our painful experiences had changed our "taste" in romantic partners. We had both recently changed to value honesty, courage to stand for what you believe in, and commitment, as essential qualities. This has certainly been tested over the three years we have known each other.
I am so grateful to God for putting Bhima into my life. He is such a rare individual to be able to withstand all my environmental requirements and protocol, to keep me relatively safe from pesticide, gasoline, and other chemical residues. He has seen me go through the darkest time of my life. In witnessing my pain, and sometimes needing to take a "time-out," he has always returned with even more love, acceptance, and support than before. Many times, I cherish the sense of humor he has. The ability to laugh at our situation has also helped to carry us through.
I have been told that at times when God sees great suffering, you are given an equal amount of blessings. After hearing about my intolerable living situation, my dad offered to buy me a house within a certain budget. Within three months of searching, I was led with the help of friends in Share, Care and Prayer, Joan Baylor and Lois Roller, to a house "made to order." I have always wanted to live in a house with ceramic tile floors. It's all electric, with no mold problems, in very clean air that envigorates me when I walk, and I even have a good E.I. friend to walk with! (Lois Roller) I remember reading in Share, Care and Prayer the story written by Dixie Peterson's son and his success in finding a place to live and a new life. I was touched by his honesty and hopeful when he said, "Do not commit suicide, keep your hope and trust in God and you will find a place." I kept hoping, and now it's happening to me! Thank you God. Thank you everyone.
Editor's note: Since Mary had written this article 1 1/2 years ago, I called her for an update. Mary's health is still very fragile, but she has been able to do more than just work on surviving each day. She is curently working on illustrating a childrens' book! All is well with the marriage. Bhima does live in the house with Mary, but he showers and uses his computer in a trailer.
Bhima has been disabled for a couple of months with Hepatitis C, and suffers from side-effects. Mary says the shoe is on the other foot now, and she has the "opportunity" to be able to take care of him for a while. She still feels so blessed that God would bring someone special into her life when she was so ill and living in such a remote place.
January 8, 1998